Pregnancy is much like the journey taken in “The Wizard of Oz.” It starts with chaos (the tornado), endures by making friends (Lion, Tin Man and the Scarecrow), has a constant, foreboding veil of “what if” (Wicked Witch), and ultimately ends up with a small man coming out from behind a curtain (the Wizard). And eventually, you wake up in a starry haze in your own bed.
Act I: The Tornado
Suffice it to say that depending on your conception story, the storm may not have been induced as much by atmospheric conditions as it was by the tequila in your margarita. Either way, the planets aligned in your fertile favor and the storm began internally. Little men were involved here…they may not have been the green-munchkin variety, but at least one was an excellent swimmer.
Act II: Lion, Tin Man and the Scarecrow
We all have friends that inherently portray characteristics similar to each of these characters. You have the moms that constantly question their maternal capabilities but are actually fiercely protective (lions), the ones who read every single book about parenting and pregnancy but still claim they know little or nothing about it all (Tin Man), and those who have no hearts and hate their children (Scarecrow)…
OK, my creative juices weakened by the smell of chocolate chip cookies in the oven. And I digress….
The one virtue all of these characters have in common is the most important of all: Loyalty. Loyal and reliable friends are hard to secure. You quickly learn who is going to traipse down the yellow brick road with you versus those who would rather skip into the next bar downtown. Having been one of the latter at one time, I say this without judgment. Fortunately, I am surrounded with wonderful friends and sisters of every variety and can honestly say I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Act III: The Wicked Witch
“What if” I’ve done something harmful to the baby. “What if” it comes out mentally or physically challenged. “What if” I exercised too hard. “What if” it wasn’t the baby that wanted a dozen chocolate chip cookies and it was really me? Despite your best efforts as an expecting mom, there is a constant cloud of the unknown that plagues your inner late-night thoughts. Even Dorothy couldn’t escape the Wicked Witch’s threat during her journey. Until the moment you hold that sweet babe in your arms (or in Dorothy’s case, the moment she woke up), you just don’t know.
Stupid witch.
Act IV: The Wizard
When Dorothy and her friends finally meet the wizard for the first time, it wasn’t quite what they expected. What I’m gleaning from fellow moms' experiences is that childbirth is similar in nature. Complications happen. Babies decide not to drop. Pitocin and caesarians may be involved. (I’m sure drugs were involved in The Wizard of Oz…but I’m guessing Pitocin wasn’t the drug of choice back in the day.) The voyage from admission to the hospital to birth for first-timers is one that may as well involve flying monkeys. When Dorothy returns to meet the wizard with the broomstick, the Wizard steps through the curtains and reveals himself as a small man. Hmmmm….
Act V: There’s No Place Like Home
After 40 weeks *hopefully* of gestation, you get to return home. Unfortunately labor is a bit more difficult than clicking your heels together, but epidural was created specifically for that reason.
I’m still wandering along the yellow brick road with the Wicked Witch looming in Acts II and III, but I have no doubt this pregnancy will end up with a happy little Welliver family regardless of uncontrollable circumstances. Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll also end up with a kick-ass pair of red-sequined shoes…
