Complacency

So it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. I haven’t exactly had inspiration to do so as of late. Pregnancy has its highs and lows – and not just in the hormonal sense. First, there’s the joy of finding out you’re pregnant (or the shock – depends on your planning methods!). Then comes the growing process, which for most women consists of reading the week-to-week progress, taking weekly pictures, and slowly watching that belly grow. And for those of us who elect to, you find out the sex around week 18 or so. This is by far the peak of the pregnancy. After seeing the life-like ultrasound, the shower planning begins and the nursery scheming and theme-ing commence. This is more fun than I originally imagined. I never really envisioned myself as the nesting type, but it is in full force!
So, now what?

I am at 29-1/2 weeks and find myself bored with being pregnant. Gasp! Dare I say creating life is boring, but well…after 7-1/2 months it sort of loses its luster. Of course there’s the exciting prospect of delivery, but as long as I’m full term that’s another 10 weeks away. This forces me to evaluate the things I want to do in the coming weeks that I may not be able to do once Hank arrives. After all, I had a T.D.B.B. list (to-do-before-baby)…why not make a new list of T.D.B.D. list – to-do-before-delivery?

T.D.B.D

* Spend quality time with Joe while we have our last time as exclusively husband and wife

* Get a pedicure?

Did I mention that pregnancy limits what you’re able to do? Haha. Maybe I have it figured out and just need to RELAX while I still have time!

On a completely different note, I have had two baby showers that were amazing. My friends and family have really pulled through in showing me their love and support for our little man. We are beyond blessed with genuine friends that have gone way above their call of duty to lend their hands. Becky Jachym hosted an intimate shower in Charlotte with friends from UNCW that left Joe and I with a bunch of fun goodies. Danielle hosted a shower at her house in the mountains with superb foods and a blizzard. Despite the weather, our friends still made the effort to honor our little man. How awesome is that?!? I suppose that’s why I’m left in a complacent mode – I have so many wonderful people taking care of everything for us that my worries stay at bay!

To add to the randomness and total disorganization of this blog, may I just say that getting big sucks? Sure – it was cute from about weeks 18-23, but after that it turned into a daily hunt for my belly button! I’ve put on about 25 pounds so far which is in normal range – the doctor said I should gain up to 35. Tying my shoes has become cumbersome and workouts are getting really tough. I asked Joe the other day whether words actually come out when I talk or if all that comes out is “Moooo. Moooo.” To say I feel like a heifer is quite the understatement!

All things being said, I’ve seen three healthy baby boys born within days of one another. What an awesome reminder this is of God’s will. While this makes me a little anxious for Hank to get here, I know that he’ll arrive in due time…whether we’re ready or not!

The Wizard of Gestation

Pregnancy is much like the journey taken in “The Wizard of Oz.” It starts with chaos (the tornado), endures by making friends (Lion, Tin Man and the Scarecrow), has a constant, foreboding veil of “what if” (Wicked Witch), and ultimately ends up with a small man coming out from behind a curtain (the Wizard).  And eventually, you wake up in a starry haze in your own bed.

Act I: The Tornado

Suffice it to say that depending on your conception story, the storm may not have been induced as much by atmospheric conditions as it was by the tequila in your margarita. Either way, the planets aligned in your fertile favor and the storm began internally. Little men were involved here…they may not have been the green-munchkin variety, but at least one was an excellent swimmer.

Act II: Lion, Tin Man and the Scarecrow

We all have friends that inherently portray characteristics similar to each of these characters. You have the moms that constantly question their maternal capabilities but are actually fiercely protective (lions), the ones who read every single book about parenting and pregnancy but still claim they know little or nothing about it all (Tin Man), and those who have no hearts and hate their children (Scarecrow)…

OK, my creative juices weakened by the smell of chocolate chip cookies in the oven. And I digress….

The one virtue all of these characters have in common is the most important of all: Loyalty. Loyal and reliable friends are hard to secure. You quickly learn who is going to traipse down the yellow brick road with you versus those who would rather skip into the next bar downtown. Having been one of the latter at one time, I say this without judgment. Fortunately, I am surrounded with wonderful friends and sisters of every variety and can honestly say I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Act III: The Wicked Witch

“What if” I’ve done something harmful to the baby. “What if” it comes out mentally or physically challenged. “What if” I exercised too hard. “What if” it wasn’t the baby that wanted a dozen chocolate chip cookies and it was really me? Despite your best efforts as an expecting mom, there is a constant cloud of the unknown that plagues your inner late-night thoughts. Even Dorothy couldn’t escape the Wicked Witch’s threat during her journey. Until the moment you hold that sweet babe in your arms (or in Dorothy’s case, the moment she woke up), you just don’t know.

Stupid witch.

Act IV: The Wizard

When Dorothy and her friends finally meet the wizard for the first time, it wasn’t quite what they expected. What I’m gleaning from fellow moms' experiences is that childbirth is similar in nature. Complications happen. Babies decide not to drop. Pitocin and caesarians may be involved. (I’m sure drugs were involved in The Wizard of Oz…but I’m guessing Pitocin wasn’t the drug of choice back in the day.) The voyage from admission to the hospital to birth for first-timers is one that may as well involve flying monkeys. When Dorothy returns to meet the wizard with the broomstick, the Wizard steps through the curtains and reveals himself as a small man. Hmmmm….

Act V: There’s No Place Like Home

After 40 weeks *hopefully* of gestation, you get to return home. Unfortunately labor is a bit more difficult than clicking your heels together, but epidural was created specifically for that reason.


I’m still wandering along the yellow brick road with the Wicked Witch looming in Acts II and III, but I have no doubt this pregnancy will end up with a happy little Welliver family regardless of uncontrollable circumstances. Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll also end up with a kick-ass pair of red-sequined shoes…

Oh Boy - It's a BOY!

It’s official – Baby Welly has gone from an “it” to a HE! Joe and I were absolutely delighted to hear the news. And honestly, quite shocked. I have known that I’m pregnant for about 3-1/2 months. For 3 months and 29 days, I thought it was a girl. Every old-fashioned indicator led me to believe as such – I felt awful in the first trimester, I am carrying all-over (heavier chest and booty), and the Chinese birth calendar said “girl.” Not to mention I had dreams of girls and I know 7 pregnant (or recently delivered) women with BOYS. Surely it was time for a girl, right?

I hate to put this in writing, but my intuition is crap.

The ultrasound tech pointed right at it, first thing. Yep, it’s a penis. Holy crap my baby has a penis! I squealed with excitement and a little disbelief. I was far from disappointed. In fact, I was so convinced it was a girl that I never entertained the idea of a boy. As the tech navigated my sweet baby boy, I suddenly became elated knowing that I A) wasn’t going to have a girl that looked like Joe, and B) will not have to hear “Mom, Dad…I’m pregnant.” Joe is through the roof with excitement. I think he saw our baby in a Virginia Tech jersey right at that moment. The prodigal son, Henry Christian Welliver (Hank) is in the making ladies and gents.

Since our baby Hank can now hear, we are talking to him non-stop. I’m even starting to read to him so that he gets used to the cadence of my voice. Unfortunately all I have right now to read him are work emails, recipes and the TV guide. He’ll be an excellent cook who can navigate cable like nobody’s business by the time he pops out. Joe is talking to him as well. I must say there are few things sweeter than a man talking to his unborn child.

In other news, we had a bit of a hiccup with the ultrasound. Hank was so restful in utero that they couldn’t get proper measurements of his head. He may also have a small spot on his heart. Obviously this unsettled me at first, especially knowing that it is one of the indicators of Down syndrome. There’s a very small chance (considering my age) and the spot is far from a single indicator of anything wrong. Please understand -- nothing will keep me from loving this baby, but a new mom can only worry. I am scheduled to go for another ultrasound next Tuesday to get a better look. Joe’s football commitments keep him from coming, but thankfully Grandma Welliver will be by my side.

We’re already envisioning our sweet babe’s future. I can’t wait to take him to the aquarium, play with dinosaurs, build sandcastles (for immediate destruction of course), and teach him every sport under the sun. Henry Christian Welliver (Hank) has a bright path in front of him that will be led by God and good examples...hopefully ;-)

10 Commandments of Pregnancy

One thing you quickly learn after becoming pregnant is that pregnancy comes with a nice, full list of “can’t do’s” and “must do’s.” I think there’s even an entire book about how many ways you can make your child come out looking like Mickey Rourke with the mental capacity of Megan Fox. While I understand that the parasite growing within needs healthy building blocks to build basic body parts, I don’t understand the obsession with teratogens that affect 1% of the pregnant population. Many of these ideals are quite frankly antiquated and have little research to back up their claims.

DISCLAIMER: This is probably the lamest, most pedantic post I’ll ever have…and it’s based off of very general research. So if you’re pregnant and the baby comes out looking like a piece of cabbage, don’t blame me.

I. Thou shalt not consume fish high in mercury and/or raw fish

- TRANSLATION: Saki-to-anyone-but-me.

- FACTS: Pre-pregnancy Amanda ate sushi at least 1-2 times per week, and seared tuna just about every week. This was one of my primary sources of Omega-3’s (which are essential to fetal development and heart health). So I stopped eating a lot of fish. Upon further research, mercury levels in most fresh market fish are low enough to ingest on a fairly regular basis. In fact, one study compared pregnant women who 1) didn’t eat seafood, 2) ate it moderately (less than 340g) and 3) women who ate it regularly (more than 340g). This research revealed significant IQ differences between the women who ate seafood regularly and those that didn’t at all. In fact, it was deemed more detrimental to deprive the fetus of seafood than it was to expose it to whatever misconceived “poison” that seafood/fish contains.

II. Thou shalt not consume lunch meat or soft cheeses

- TRANSLATION: Subway $5 footlongs out of the budget…along with my favorite feta and goat cheeses.

- FACTS: Listeria is a bacteria that can cause (you guessed it)- Listerosis. Listerosis is basically an infection caused from ingesting deli meats, improperly cooked meat and soft cheeses. It is VERY rare (around 2,500 cases in the US), however almost 30% of those diagnosed are pregnant women (meaning 750 pregnant women). The truth? Yes, I could get it if I eat 15 day old lunch meat and gnaw on some uncooked chicken. Gross image, I know. And I could get it from eating unpasteurized soft cheese…but I have yet to find an unpasteurized soft cheese (though I haven’t eaten bleu cheese just yet). Call me a rebel, but I think my chances are pretty safe.

III. Thou shalt not exceed a heart rate of 140 bpm during exercise

- TRANSLATION: Wrap yourself in bubble wrap from chest-down to uterus before exercising . This includes checking the mail, taking a shower, getting into your car, and going to the mall.

- FACTS: This may be the most outdated information of them all. This rule is supposed to apply to all pregnant women – those who were overweight before they got pregnant and even those who were active beforehand. Call it tooting my own horn, but I’m in the very-active lifestyle category. 140 bpm is my warm up! Not to mention, I’ve been all-gas-no-brakes my entire life…and now I have to exercise with a walker (or so it feels like). Much to many people’s disconcertment, I even still play volleyball (gasp!). So, do I exercise as intensely as before? Absolutely not. I am still able to do Crossfit workouts, I just take down the weight. I can still do pull-ups, pushups, and even box jumps. During volleyball, I am careful not to dive…though instinct is difficult to counter, I have been able to manage. My test for fatigue? I make sure that I am able to speak full sentences during a workout. So I look completely insane, but who really cares?

IV. Thou shalt consume (8) 8 oz glasses of water a day

- TRANSLATION: And people wonder why pregnant women pee so often.

- FACTS: The amniotic sac needs plenty of fluid. In order to supply enough, 80 ounces a day seems to be more appropriate, and even more if you’re active!

V. Thou shalt not consume caffeine

- TRANSLATION: Red Bull’s wings have been dismantled.

- FACTS: Most doctors agree that one cup of regular coffee a day won’t hurt the baby. I really, REALLY loved my coffee, so this one has been a toughie. I usually only drink coffee on the weekends, but occasionally indulge during the week if I’m particularly vulnerable.

VI. Thou shalt not consume alcoholic beverages

- TRANSLATION: No buzzing allowed.

- FACTS: Rumor has it that the occasional glass of wine isn’t harmful. Think of it this way – our grandmothers were smoking and shooting whiskey when they were pregnant with our parents (which could explain a lot…). Modern times call for different measures. Some women continue to moderately drink throughout their pregnancy, but the link between FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) and frequent drinking is one that can’t be ignored. Once I transitioned to the second trimester, I had my first glass of wine…and it took me an hour to drink it. And no, it wasn’t the glass that holds an entire bottle.

VII. Thou shalt park in Expectant Mother parking spaces

- TRANSLATION: Piss a lot of people off when you don’t even look pregnant by parking in the designated spot.

- FACTS: Women with a lot of YOUNG children should take those spots without reservation. Pregnant women…well, as long as my two happy feet can move they will!

VIII. Thou shalt increase dairy intake for extra calcium needs

- TRANSLATION: Buy a cow. And milk it.

- FACTS: DAIRY IS THE DEVIL. First of all, cow’s milk has very little absorbable calcium due to its high protein content. AND, just take a look at every other mammal in the animal kingdom. What other mammal drinks milk after they are weaned? NONE of them. Not to mention, cows (like humans) are only meant to nurse one time in their life, which is when they give birth. What keeps cows producing milk? Why Bovine Growth Hormone (BGH) , a genetically engineered hormone of course! And where do the remnants of the hormone go? Directly into our bodies, folks. BGH is actually outlawed in several civilized countries…yet we continue to inject our cows. And the last thing - Guess what is found in milk AND in all 3 stages of cancer? A protein called casein. I can go a lot further on this subject, but if you’re really interested, you can read up on your own.

IX. Thou shalt squeal excitedly at every single gift

- TRANSLATION: When you receive an incorrectly monogrammed gift, you still have to gush over how much you love the gift.

- FACTS: Yes, squeal. It’s from someone you love. Just keep the tears to a minimum if you can control yourself ;-)

X. Thou art a poor mother if you don’t breastfeed

- TRANSLATION: You are a failure if you can’t stick to breastfeeding

- FACTS: I’m all for breastfeeding. I’m going to give it my absolute best effort. Some children don’t respond to breastfeeding…and it’s completely OK if they don’t. I’m still learning a lot about this one…

Here’s the real skinny: I still follow these commandments in moderation and actually still consume dairy.  I can't help it if my ass is addicted to cheese. That said, as with everything moderation is key. The primary aim of this dissertation is to remind people that conventional wisdom is just that – conventional. When it comes to the health of you and your child, don’t blindly accept what every “expert” purports – do research of your own and take charge of your lifestyle.

"You just wait"

These three little words carry several different connotations. It could be a sweet plea from a mother to her child about crossing the street. It could also be a positive way of telling someone the good things their future has in store. However more often than not, when you hear this as a pregnant woman it comes out with flames attached, one eyebrow raised and a sinister chuckle. Usually the person leers at you from a peripheral angle because if they look you directly in the eye, lasers would surely beam and make you explode.


Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE hearing each woman’s story about pregnancy, labor and child rearing. I figure anything I can learn about my baby before he (yep, it’s a he this entry) blesses me with his presence, the better. What really irks me is the constant stress on the negatives. A friend asked me the other day how I’ve been feeling. I replied with the same complaint all pregnant women face – exhaustion. Her immediate retort? “Oh you just wait! You think you aren’t sleeping NOW? Pfsh.”

Really people? Do you have to rain on my parade? 1. You asked me how I felt. 2. I told you. 3. You shot laser beams at me. Seriously?

Here’s the truth – I know parts of parenthood just plain suck, particularly in the first couple of months. But why do moms spend so much time talking about the pains and less of the blessings? Just think about it the next time you complain about anything for that matter. Most of us are fortunate beyond our understanding…so why lament in our hardships?

Rant complete.

Now for Baby Welly…I had a check up last week aka an interrogation about my health. The nurse actually told me “this is one of the most boring health reviews I’ve had.” Which is good news I suppose. The only caveat was that my Rubella vaccination has worn off. Meaning: if you have German Measles, stay away from me. My weight gain leveled off – I gained 5 pounds in the first trimester which is on the high end but still on target. Thank God my boobs stopped growing for a little bit (says the wife – Joe may have a different take on the fun-bag situation).

Today I am 12 weeks and 5 days along. My pants / skirts are definitely fitting more snuggly. My hips are widening and my belly is fuller. No “bump” to speak of but I’m thicker all over. I’ve delayed posting pictures until there’s a noticeable belly. But stay tuned! I’ll be fat before you know it!

Once upon a time in Mexico...

Once upon a time in Mexico…


“I was having some problems with my teeth, and the dentist in T or C (Truth or Consequences, New Mexico) wanted to charge an arm and a leg to have a couple pulled. I thought it was a rip-off. So, I took my truck down to Mexico to see how much it would cost to have them pulled. Turns out those Mexicans are quite reasonable. Now his tools may not have been state-of-the-art, but I got a great deal!”

This is just one of the true-ish, totally-nutso real life accounts that my late grandfather shared.  My aptly-named Grandpa Burl was a man larger than life. As a military man, father, grandfather, and husband, he far exceeded everyone’s expectations of love and service. He drove a truck for years which was wonderful for us as kids. Every once and awhile he popped by our California home off of Highway 101 with some sort of quirky treasure, $2 for each of us (which was like a million dollars at the time), and crazy stories such as the one above. All he expected in return was a nice cup of black coffee and conversation.

While these recollections stick out of my Grandpa Burl, the most poignant memory is his love for my grandma. My grandmother is the most long-suffering, patient, and kind woman I’ve ever met. It was my grandpa’s mission in life to test that long-suffering as much as humanly possible. Which I’m certain he did until his last day! In all seriousness, while he drove my grandma absolutely nuts, he made up for his antics with love. Pure love. Real love. His heart may be eternally rested now, but I know that it will forever belong where it should – with my grandma.

This is the second grandparent we’ve lost in a year. My 1-1/2 year old niece, Brooklynn, will forever have my late maternal grandma guiding her from heaven. It is my sincere hope that little Welly will have Grandpa Burl’s guidance throughout his/her life…well, except when it comes to dentistry ;-)

Rest in peace, Grandpa. Your presence may have left us temporarily, but your essence and influence will always remain.

Week 8

Da-doom da-doom…da-doom da doom…

It was music to my ears.

Today we had our first ultrasound. And yep – there’s a baby in there! Baby Welly (we’ll say “she” and “her” in this entry for simplicity sake) is about 1-1/2 cm long and has a strong heart rate of 158 bpm. She was nestled softly in the uterine wall, resting peacefully. In my mind, Welly was laying there with her hands crossed behind her head and her right ankle resting on her left knee. She may have even been smoking a pipe. Tobacco-less of course.

This was also our first “official” doctor’s visit. Joe accompanied me and I am so happy he did.

Station 1: Height and weight. Joe says “You’re only 5’7? There’s got to be another ½” in there..” To add to my dwarf-like feeling, I’ve put on 5 pounds already! Not good. That’s supposed to happen in the next couple of weeks. I guess eating carbs all the time finally caught up. Dang it.

Station 2: Waiting Room. Insert elevator music here.

Station 3: Ultrasound Room. They waste NO time! I was off with my clothes and WHA-BAM! There’s the baby. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I wanted to look at Joe but I couldn’t. I was absolutely mesmerized. We haven’t put down the ultrasound pics yet!

Station 4: Waiting Room. Insert angry patient who has been waiting and rolling her eyes every time I’m called. Get over yourself Gaga.

Station 5: Examination Room. Poor Joe. He had no idea what he was in for!

Station 6: Draw blood. They’re actually testing me for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea…obviously these people know very little about my past. Apparently it’s standard procedure.

Station 7: Hardees for a hot ham n cheese. I was obviously distraught about those 5 pounds.

Station 8: McDonalds for a snack size McFlurry…ok, TOMORROW I’ll eat better.

All in all it was a glorious day. Seeing that little flicker of light made everything real…I think more so for Joe than me. It was a beautiful experience to share. His excitement grows everyday as does mine. We are really excited to meet this babe!